Bucket list of things to do before I die or the world ends.


1. Skydiving
2. Bungee Jumping
3. 360 roller coaster ride
4. Scorpion plait on my hair
5. Do FREE HUGS on the street (Any country)
6. Exchange programme/ study abroad
7. Travel alone
8. Learn to dance
9. Run a 5k/10k marathon
10. Try skiing or any winter sports
11. Experience Winter
12. Snorkeling
13. Go on Safari
14. Paragliding
15. Date a foreigner
16. Kiss in the rain (DRAMATIC)
17. Hiking tour
18. Biking tour
19. Ride on a limo
20. Have a pen pal
21. Start my own business
22. TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL!!!


and more to come.

Lau Kok Siong.,aged 73.

My grandmother.

Has gone home to be with the Lord.

She was diagnosed with third stage lung cancer 6 months ago. The doctor said she was left with approximately 6 months to a year left. Despite this, we all prayed fervently for a miracle to happen.

For the first four months, my grandmother’s condition was okay but soon, her condition took a beating. She suffered from frequent chest pains and could hardly have the strength to move around due to her medication.

Last Sunday, 17 Feb after much discussion, we took her to the hospital.

On 20 feb, I went down to SGH to visit her and wore a pair of shades.When she saw me walked in, she smiled widely and said in chinese, “woah who is this celebrity? I could hardly recognise when you walked in.” She chatted with me and even showed me the bruises from all the injection. My aunt replied,” its okay, we are going back soon, no more injections for you!”

The doctor said she could be discharged on Friday.  My eldest cousin often text anyone present in hospital to check on my grandmother’s condition. To reassure him my grandmother’s condition, we took this picture of my grandmother. Her smile shines so brightly even despite all the pain.

Who would have thought that someone so joyful would have been gone 2 days later?

It was on Fri, 22 feb when it all started.

My brother woke me up, telling me that we had to hurry as my grandmother was unconscious since morning. The doctor told my family that she had an hour to live.We quickly took a cab to the hospital only to see all the weeping faces and hear my aunts plea for my grandmother to regain consciousness.

As I approached my grandmother, my eyes became weep as I spoke these words. “Mama I’m here. Wake up.Mama.” I see no response but small movements due to heavy breathing.

The ward was filled with our voices,crying out to our grandmother.

My aunts who took great care of my grandmother sat by her faithfully, hoping to have any slight response. Some of us went to the resting area to take a nap and eat.

At about 2.45pm, my dad ran out to the resting area, signalling for us all to hurry into the ward. We all sense the urgency and ran to my grandmother’s bed. As I was walking down the narrow path towards her bed, I could her my aunts’ wailing. I reached her bedside and saw her heartbeat rate, 43…no signal…20+ …no signal, 10+ and the signal went off.

I felt so much sadness inside me as I see her lying still on the bed. Although my aunts were all sitting by the bed next to her, I felt as though she was alone. And I felt so afraid and sad for her.

Everybody was weeping, even my dad and my uncle who rarely cried, wailed so hard that they became breathless. None of us stop weeping until the nurse took her away.

But even despite all the sadness and emptiness, we all knew that she was taken to a better place, a place that we will be able to reunite in future. Her wish was that we will all celebrate and not mourn, for she has gone to the place that she has long for all her life, which was to be with the Lord.

With that being said, we still felt empty in a way or another. And these past few days at the funeral wake have reminded me of how great my grandmother was. Not only as a grandmother or mother, but as a person. She had a heart of gold and I daresay that she is by far the nicest elderly that I have ever seen in my life.

In her colleagues’ eyes, she was a no 1 aunty. In her churchmates’ eyes, she was a faithful servant of the Lord who would serve and help out rain or shine. And in our eyes, she was a loving and God-fearing grandmother.

I remembered on the day that I went to visit her, I told her that my results will be out this Friday and she said, “ Don’t be afraid and hand everything to God. Have faith ok” No matter something bad or good happened, she was the first one to say “ Don’t be afraid, lets just praise God.”

Our family knows that she want us to carry on the legacy of love that she shared with everyone that she met and her unwavering trust towards the Lord.

And as we begin a new journey without her presence, she will be in our hearts forever. Until the day we meet face to face in Heaven.

再见，我亲爱的奶奶。

Love you now and forever, your youngest granddaughter

These past 2 years have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. There were so many things that happened and thank God, I was able to make it through all the times. I have lost, gain, cried, hate and loved. But there’s just one thing that I have yet to learn, which is to control overwhelming emotions. Its not something I hate but definitely something I would wish to learn how to take control. I cried when I saw how my grandfather struggled on the hospital bed, I cried when I heard the doctor said “ Your family has to be mentally prepared, I don’t think he has many days left”, I cried when I received a call from my aunt announcing my grandfather’s death, I cried when I saw him lying in the coffin, I cried when I heard the song ‘Fix You’ for a few days and I teared when I received a condolence/are you ok text. I wouldn’t say allowing myself to succumb to my emotions is a sign of weakness, but rather, courage. I have learnt to love and cherish the people I love. I knew it from the moment I saw my grandfather in the coffin. I took a peep inside and saw his sunken cheeks with eyes shut closed and my heart sank immediately.Before I knew it, my eyes were soaked with tears. I begin tearing and said to my mother who I was hugging closely, “ He doesn’t look like himself.” As I said that, it somehow seem like as if I’m telling myself that he is really died. I begin tearing up more as my mind took me into a land of infinity thoughts. I wondered what was he thinking the last few minutes before he died. Did he want us to be with him? Did he want to say something to us? The thought of him all by himself on the bed and catching his last breath was so hard for me to accept. I felt that he was defeated by time, and so was I. But I knew it was good for him to go. He was obviously suffering and unwilling to share his pains or any of his thoughts. Or is it that he just cant remember them? Thinking back, I think God gave him more time to live than we could ever asked for. It all happened in 2011 when we knew he suffered what most eldery people do, Dementia. His body begin to weaken drastically after a fall which caused his brain to suffer from internal bleeding. He was in coma for a week or so. When he regain his consciousness, he was unable to eat and then when he could, he was unwilling. Not only until we found out a secret, he only wanted to eat unhealthier food. When we fed him fries, hashbrown and ice lemon tea instead of bread,rice or water, he willingly gave in to a few mouths. When he was discharged, things became worse when his memory failed him every single day. He throws tantrum in a minute and forgets it the next. But I will never forget the face when our family sang his favourite hokkien christian song, Hold My Hands. He was happy. He was himself, the child of God. And when I received the phone call on 24 Nov, 4.30am, he left this temporary home of 80 years and went up to be with God. For this, I am happy. Let love conquer all hate.

WISHLIST

1. JAZZ ALBUM~

 I dont have any singers in mind, so you'll need to choose it yourself :)


2. FLATFORMS!!!!!!! I really want a pair of flatforms so that i can look taller. But then again, i dont
   have any pictures for you guys to choose from.OH a very important information, my size is ard 6-7/
   38-39.

3.Camera sling strap!!! The length must be long enough for me to sling it!
   for example,
  


5. BIG EAR STUDS.

   Unfortunately, it'll be hard for you guys look find a suitable one as i would only be able to wear the          
   ones made of plastic!

6. APPARELS. I really have no clothes. need you guys to dress me up!!!!!

   Something not too elegant but not too boyish as well~~

7. BASEBALL JERSEYSSS!!



8. SNACKS!!!!FOOD!GOOOOOOOOOOOD FOOD!


good luck~~~

As all of you might already know, I got a B for PW.

I really dont know how to feel.

I always believe that if i do my best, God will do the rest. So naturally, i felt that i'd get A. So getting a B really means something to me. I really dont get why after so much hard work that i have put it, like many others, i would still get a B.

But, I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason.

As much as i am disappointed with my results, I thank God that i got a B and not a C.

I choose to put my faith on God and trust His words. Jeremiah 29:11

And with the 2 Bs for A level i've got so far, i will work harder to make sure i'll do well for my H2s.

Thank God for my results.

Felt that my results was by God, definitely couldnt do it myself.

Will continue to work hard to glorify His name and not let my parents down.

:)

Anyws!!!

Watch my first film productn and comment on it! greatly appreciated!!!

• Done w block tests ^^
• SAM!!! WOOHOO
• Titanic exhibition was A.W.E.S.O.M.E
• Had my first pepper lunch meal
• Bought a pair of Vans (finally)

Really excited for the Korea trip next year w CY and XE(hopefully).

Its been quite awhile since I blogged, which explains why i'm having difficulties typing now.

Shall let the pictures do the talking..

LASALLE COLLEGE OF THE ARTS - Film

SMU- Bachelor of Biz Management

- Double major/degree: Psychology & Organisational Behaviour and HR

NUS- Management and organisation

Overseas Uni:

Columbia University

California institute of the Arts

Murdoch University

James Cook University

2012! im finally gonna be 18!

New Year Resolutions

• lose fats/weight
• grow taller
• be a better person
• learn to give in
• slow in anger + more patient
• be a better photographer
• work hard n do well for As
• better r/s w God

This year I've,

• collected and cried over my O level results
• went into IJC or u can say mini reunion w pri schmates
• join a sucky CCA
• help up w/ church members wedding
• finally 17
• took my grade 5 exam
• took A lvl MT and PW
• cried over whether to drop out of JC or not
• went SL w the girls

Yup thats most of it, goodbye 2011

Merry xmas everybody :)

Thank God for male models :)

Yes, started my holidays. m constantly lazing around. NEED TO START STUDYING, holiday homework is crazy, NO JOKE. Got lotsa stuff to catch up, revise. Plus, need to do prep work for HK econs trip. can't wait for it!!! But the sad thing is that i cant get to bunk with Suan.

OH wells,

Yesterday was pretty good. Meet A and XE to have dinner>arcade. Now, my arms feel as if they dont belong to me. Used the 184 e-tickets to get ourselves drinks + snacks. Had impromptu steamboat. Awesome. Awesome.

Holidays are starting pretty well. Just gotta put more time into studying.

Cant w8 for the malaysia trip with the girls :)

As you travel life's weary road,
let Jesus lift your heavy load.



AMEN

W.H.A.T I.S L.O.V.E

i always question myself if i am a good example of christ, a good christian, a good example.
but i guess not....


today's quiet time spoke to me.
Leviticus 18:11-19


I shall make it a point to not gossip! :)

I thank God that people believe in me.

but i think it has turn into a kind a burden for me, like i have to live up to expectations.

its just so hard that i dont think i can do it anymore.

I dont wanna live a life full of expectations,

but i cant.

Having a Coke with You

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

Frank O’Hara

Just leave!

No you cant

Why not?

Because you cant just give up like that

Im not giving up

Then?

I'm just choosing whats best in my life

Is it? or are you just choosing the easy way out?

I dont know...

you sure you know whats best for yourself?

i dont know i just want to leave

you're disappointing your loved ones

no, im not. they are supportive of my decision

you're giving up, you wasted so much money this year why cant you continue on

i dont trust my own ability

trust God

Im trying, i think he's asking me to leave

How do you know? maybe he wants you to try for another year